The Long Run
by Girl With The Dandelion
Summary: When Peeta is called in for active military duty, Katniss has a choice to make. Stay in the shadows forever, or finally tell the boy she loves how she really feels. Set in modern times. A submission for the PromptsinPanem challenge.


I didn't know what to do. Here I stood between my best friend in the entire world, and the boy she didn't love but held onto anyway. Here I stood between the man I have been in love with for years, and the girl who won't let him move on. How does someone handle this? He's leaving, quite possibly forever; she doesn't tell him she loves him. She just gives him a hug and tells him to be safe.

He's going to war; he's going to fight in a war, and she can't even tell him she loves him. He doesn't say it to her either though. By this point, I am shaking. How do you say goodbye to someone you love who doesn't know you love them? How do you do this without completely breaking into a million pieces in the process? He looks over at me and smiles. He smiles. How can he smile? And why at me? Why?

His smile reminds me of this time when we were kids, barely seven years old, playing hide and seek. I was always afraid of the dark then, so he knew exactly where to hide; in the windowless garage. But I was no coward. I bravely stepped forward, trembling head to toe into the darkness. I knew he was in there; I could hear him breathing. I only found him because he jumped out at me from behind the car. I screamed so loud that my throat hurt afterwards. He just started laughing and laughing.

"I don't see what's so funny Peeta! You scared me to death," my voice was so shaky and I was nearly crying.

"Aw I'm sorry Katniss. I thought it'd be funny." And then Peeta smiled.

That smile would forever be imprinted into my memory. Why did he have to smile at me? All throughout high school, that smile kept me going. Through my parents messy divorce, through my breakup with Gale, through my sister's death; that smile of his kept me hanging on.

He knew my parents. He knew them nearly as well as I did. He knew how difficult they were. He knew about how hard it was for me to choose who to live with. He knew it all because he was there for it all. And he always smiled. It was as if he knew how that smile could turn my day around.

He knew how badly Gale hurt me when he left me for Madge. It wasn't as though I was in love with Gale, but still, he left me. To be abandoned for someone else is a tough pill to swallow no matter the circumstances. Peeta was there for me then too; always smiling.

And then my baby sister was hit by a drunk driver. She was gone forever; one of the only things keeping me grounded just gone. I had fought so hard to keep her safe. I would cover her ears when our parents fought. I would take her to the park when mom was too tired, or dad wasn't home. I would hold her hand when she had nightmares. But in the blink of an eye, she was gone. Peeta didn't smile then. But he cried with me. He held me when I needed to be held. He stayed with me.

Even through all of that, I still couldn't tell him how I felt. And when he started dating Delly, I vowed that I never would. Delly was my best friend, besides Peeta. I could see right away they didn't love each other. But neither of them ended things. I think they were too afraid of hurting the other.

God that smile. Damn that smile. I heard Delly cough behind me, like she wanted me to speed things up. She has got to be kidding right now. He's leaving. He might not come back. No! I can't think like that. I can't. If I think like that, this weight on my heart will never go away. This pain in my chest will always be there.

"Peeta, please promise you'll be careful."

He smiles again, although this time it is a sad smile. "I promise."

This isn't good enough. This isn't what I want to say. This isn't me. This isn't us. This isn't fair. Before I can stop myself, I am running to him. Before I can think of the consequences, before I can factor in his girlfriend is right behind me, I am running into his arms. I barely have time to register what I have done when I feel his arms wrap around me. My hands tangle into his hair as I reach up to whisper into his ear, "I love you so much. I always have. And I need you to know that. I love you. Please, come back to me."

I am not afraid of rejection. I am not afraid of silence. I am not afraid. I've just done what I have been wanting to do forever. "I know this isn't the best time to tell you, but I need you to know that. I love you."

Suddenly, he is kissing me. He whispers he loves me against my lips. He is kissing me and I don't know what to do. I don't want this to end. I do not want to ever let him go. He kisses me more and I have forgotten we are in an airport, surrounded by hundreds of people. I have forgotten Delly is standing right behind us. I have forgotten it all. His arms wrap around my waist, pulling my closer. Somewhere in the back of my mind I know this moment must end, but not right now. Never. I come tumbling back to the ground when the stewardess announces it's time for the plane to begin boarding. He squeezes me tighter. "Please come back to me. Stay with me," I whisper. He chuckles. "How can I come back if I stay?" "I don't know. I don't care. I don't want to lose you."

He kisses me again. "You can't lose me, you only just found me. You will never lose me."

By now, I am sobbing into his shirt. "I love you. I'm so sorry for waiting so long to tell you. Oh my God Delly is going to hate me after this. How could I do this? How could I tell you now? You're leaving. I shouldn't have done this."

He pulls me away from his chest so that he's looking into my eyes. "I'm sorry I waited so long to tell you that I love you. I should have told you years ago. Delly and I broke up two weeks ago Katniss. And I am so glad you told me, because this is something I have been waiting for, forever. You telling me that you love me is what is going to keep me safe while I'm gone. You've given me something to fight for."

I hold him against me until I absolutely have to let go. This is the most pain I have felt since Prim. This is unbearable. At least when Prim died, I had Peeta to hold me, to cry with me. But as he walks onto the plane I am terrified that this will be the last time I see him. I am terrified I will be alone. Delly is silent during the car ride home. When we reach my house, she finally talks to me.

"I think I always knew. Somewhere deep down, I knew how you both felt. Maybe that's why I couldn't ever fall in love with him."

I work up the courage to look her in the eye. "Delly, I-,"

"Don't sweat it Katniss. It's okay. Really. You know, I kind of have a thing for Thom anyway. And he asked me out to dinner this week. I need this. I need to move on. I want to forget. I've put in so much time and effort into a relationship that I knew was going nowhere."

I can't help but feel just a little bitter. She's right. She had so much time with Peeta and I got what? Five minutes at the most? I've waited my entire life to love him and when the chance presents itself, we get five minutes.

Still, those five minutes are something I will never forget. Not in a million years. Not in a lifetime, no matter how short it is.

**A Year Goes By**

When my phone rang at three in the morning I knew it couldn't be anything good.

"Katniss, Peeta's been shot," said Delly, the tears obvious in her voice.

And with those four words it felt like my heart had been ripped out of my chest.

* * *

It wasn't until four weeks later that Peeta was able to come home. On an honorable discharge, Peeta was excused from all military duty. I guess that's their gift to you for losing a leg. I'm pacing back and forth in the baggage claim, just waiting. Peeta's parents were escorted to where the plane let's off, so that they can be the first to see their son.

His mother was furious over what happened. Instead of worrying about Peeta, she was more concerned with how "stupid that boy is for getting himself into this mess" and how "I told him enlisting in the military was a mistake." I opted to ride separate from them. Although, in all honesty, I don't think his mom would have exactly welcomed me into their car. She's not my biggest fan. She never has been, and she certainly isn't now that she knows I'm seeing her son.

I keep pacing; I keep waiting. Most of the bags have been claimed; I have Peeta's suitcase. I'm sitting on top of it now, still waiting. By now, I'm ready to run through, security be damned. And that's when I see him. Leaning heavily on a cane, both legs planted on the ground; Peeta. The stiffness with which his right leg moves indicates that it's a prosthetic. I see some people turn their heads and stare at it. But not me. I take off, leaving his suitcase unattended. I notice out of the corner of my eye his mother shake her head but I don't care. Because Peeta is here. Peeta is alive. Peeta. I run into his outstretched arms and bury myself into his chest.

"Is this real"? I whisper.

My spine tingles as he whispers into my hair, "Real. This is real. No dream can even compare to this."

I pull away so that I can see his eyes. They're still the same blue, but they look haunted. I imagine war has that affect on someone. "I love you Peeta."

He pulls me closer and when his lips touch mine, I know. This is real. This is happening.

"I love you Katniss."

"God I've waited a year to hear you say that."

His mother stands behind him, shaking her head and tapping her foot. I pull away, about to give her a piece of my mind when Peeta pulls me back.

"And I've waited a year to hold you. You think I'm going to let go of you now? Stay with me," he whispers, his nose skimming the bottom of my ear.

"Always," I whisper back.

**Author's Note: **So, if I remember correctly, this is either the first or one of the first AU stories I've written. Hopefully, I did alright. Also, this was a submission for the PromptsinPanem challenge on tumblr, which you can find me on via the url oswinoftheasylum. I hope you liked it!

Also, I know in airports now you can't wait at the terminal, but I just really don't freaking care so at the terminal they shall wait.


End file.
